Why I need to give up running...

So in my attempt to stick with my trainer(an ex academy football player)'s plan of getting me in shape, I have been going to the gym 5 days a week for the past few weeks now.  Let me state again how much I really hate running.  I thought I would run outside today though, because 1. it's safer for me apparently and 2. it was warm and sunny and I know the wrath of New England winter is about to come crashing down on my life.  

In order to get to the outdoor track you have to walk by the bowling alley which has no less than 5 men outside smoking at any time.  I'm pretty sure that having your gym patrons be subjected to cancer before they go run their lungs out is a pretty bad idea, but apparently the AF doesn't care.  

Well Ms Asthma was already congested by the time I got to the track because somehow every time I am subjected to the cancer sticks my lungs go on strike and work so sluggishly I'm pretty sure my brain gets high from lack of oxygen.  The downside of that is that I cough more than an emphysema patient.  

So I started running and my shorts started to ride up.  Now ladies, back me up on this...why does Nike, Addidas and every other sport short manufacturer have to make ladies shorts so short?  Why can't they just be long like men's shorts?  Anyways, my shorts were starting to ride up, so I started hiking them down like the teenage kid that wants to show off his boxers.  My t-shirt was totally long enough so that wasn't really an issue...at first.  Somewhere around the mile marker I got totally sick of hiking the shorts down every 10 steps, so I tugged really hard at the hem and they fell longer.  Then I reached around to my back to see if my t-shirt was still long enough (mind you I'm doing all of this at a run)...and it wasn't.  Now side note, thank goodness I have enough common sense to not being wearing anything skimpy to the office and thank goodness I remember that advice that our mother gave all of us about car accidents and underwear.  But still here I am running around a track with my bloomers hanging out.  I was a decent distance away from all the AF guys doing PT in the middle of the field, so I was pretty sure they didn't see anything...but then I looked behind me and I saw a very attractive male running a few yards behind me.  I quickly righted the shorts wrong and didn't make eye contact with him the entire rest of the time I was running...oh yeah and my face turned 5 shades of red.  

So I finished my mile and a half and walked off the track to stretch.  As I'm stretching my calves near the parking lot and black SUV pulls up.  In it is the very good looking man that was running behind me.  He rolls down the window and says, "Thank you.  I was pacing off you the whole way.  You were a great pacer."  I was absolutely mortified so I did the only thing I could think to do in that situation (since I'm not a great flirt), I just introduced myself, said I would pace anytime and walked away.  Quickly, with my shorts definitely pulled up.